Today at the beach, I watched a woman lug her board to shore. Her beautiful bright eyed babe was waiting for her with her partner.
I must admit, as a midwife and mother of 4. I am a bit of a pregnancy creeper and baby admirer.
As my people watching continued, I saw that they were having a bit of a conflict. Her partner was criticising her on how simple it is to get out on the board, “it’s so easy.”
He kept repeating, “it’s so easy.”
My heart sank.
She looked defeated,
This baby was under 6 months old, my guess would be right around 4 months.
And there is nothing easy about it.
I’ve done it.
You grow a baby, your whole body, mind and soul expand.
Your center of gravity recalibrates
Your transverse abdominal muscles naturally separate to accommodate this beautiful life.
You slowly reconnect yourself with your body. What was easy before, now seems different, some twinges here and aches there.
This is not easy.
If you had a vaginal birth, you might have scar tissue, you might be still experiencing pain or guarding.
Your pubic bones could have completely separated from one another.
This is not easy!
If you had a C-section your organs have been taken out of your body, put back inside and your abdominal muscles and three layers of yourself have been cut apart and sewn back together.
This is not easy!
Even if everything was straight forward and all rainbows and sunshine.
You’re a new mom, you know your baby is on the shore waiting for you.
Is he ok?
Did I just hear him cry?
Does he need to be changed?
Did I even bring his diapers?
I hope he has his hat on, he might need more sunscreen.
Nope, not easy …
Your breasts, larger than ever, filled with milk, achingly smash against the board below you.
Packing them into last year’s bathing suit reminds you how post baby everything used to stay in all the right places.
Your mind wants to be out there, carefree enjoying the fresh air, warm sunshine and refreshing water.
But your body and mom’s mind tells you it’s time to go in.
Another day…
This is not easy…
I promise it will get easier, everyday.
Be gentle with yourself and make sure your partner knows to be gentle with you too.
There are some wonderful pelvic floor therapists in our community that can help make it easier too! And come to our postpartum support group to connect.
– Josie
